Crushed and Burnt

Forgive me for my long overdue absence. Things have taken a HUGE toll on me. Things have been shitty, due to personal situations. I'm still going through a process. I feel that I've been crushed, beaten, burnt, knocked down, torn apart........there just ain't a single word that could describe how I am right now. So forgive me for that past disappearing acts. "You're wrong if u think that the person u love would treat you just the way you should be treated, respect u and would love u forever." Hopefully I'll get over this.SOON.

Blogging mistakes =P

Well I know that I've not been posting up any new posts about what had happened ever since Japan,and I do feel awful for not updating my blog for MONTHS!!

Till now,I ashamely(heck,is there a word like this???) admit that I haf approximately EIGHT(8) pending posts!!!!!!!*malu,malu* =(

And now that I am driven to feel bad for not updating this blog by a few,I remind myself almost everyday to update this..unfortunately I'm not allowed though.WHY??Because "Koass" aka "Dokter Muda" has finally start and my time now is better put to use for resting after being on duty in the ward or studying(though I'm not doing that that much.YET). "Dokter muda" is they call us here in the hospital,direct translation meaning "Young Doctor",which is medical student doing their practicals in the hospital,like me :)

Thus there's lesser time for updates.Sure, I've been told more times than not to terminate my blog,but I assure you that I will post up about what I've been through..as usual,the what,where,who and what not.

Pending posts consists some of the following events:

1. My elective programme in Matsumoto, Japan
2. Chinese New Year back home (I missed out on reunion dinner!!MAJOR BUMMER!!)
3. Bali for a mini graduation from my theory yrs in The Faculty of Medicine
4. Back to Kuching(AGAIN!!),but something MAJOR happened on the way there
5. Bali for "Perlantikan Dokter Muda" and orientation
6. MY VERY FIRST DEPARTMENT(for practicals), PSYCHIATRY!

So I urge you.YES,YOU!!please please please please,Be patient with apaintedangel.Pretty please?????*puppydogeyes* Don't give up on reading here,kay? ;) Though I'm guessin that I do not have lotsa readers,but yea,I'm seeing this in a positive aspect.lol!

Hmmm......now I'm wondering whether there's people reading this...................

oh crap. =P

Have a great Chinese New Year!!Raawwwrrrr!

I'm finally back in Kuching!(again,again..hehe)My first step onto the ground of Kuching International Airport never felt this sweet! =)

After long flying hours,often having immigration check-ins and check-outs,having airports as my home for one and a half day and most of all missing out on REUNION DINNER(bleh!),I am home!

The short one month in Japan was fun,new and interesting,and many times I didn't even feel like leaving.But being home is simple bliss at the moment!

Kuching friends,Kuching food,Kuching room,Kuching's CNY...HERE I COME!

LOADS to make up for missing out on the reunion dinner.lol!

Happy Chinese/Tiger New Year Everyone!It's gonna be an awesome year!


And since it's also February 14th,a day where most are warm in their beloved's arms,fuzzy-wuzzy,lovey-dovey and all that's about love.Happy Valentine's Day!

Have you told your love ones(and I don't mean only lovebirds ok!) "I Love You"??

Please do. =)

P/S:Updates about Japan will continue after this.

Later!

Stop Digging Your Booger!

Warning:This is not an update about me.It is about someone else.Do not imagine the act of what I'm about to say.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYONE WHO KEEPS DIGGING HIS/HER NASAL TO GET THAT BOOGER RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU?

REGARDLESS OF WHETHER YOU'RE THERE,THAT SAME PERSON IS DIGGING IN AND OUT,IN AND OUT.

ALMOST EVERY SINGLE DAY?



I DO!!!!!!!!!!

AND I'M SO DISGUSTED AND ANNOYED!!!!!!!!

I do not mind people digging their smelling organ.

It is fine if you want to clean it up.

But I'm NOT okay with them doing in it front of me over and over and over and over again!!!!

I'm NOT okay with you cleaning it in front of others.

And I'm DEFINITELY NOT okay with you rubbing/pressing/rolling your booger with your fingers and planting them on any surfaces,okay?!??!?!?

screw u.

Back and Gone

I was really looking forward to being back home..and last wednesday,I finally was home!

But it's finally friday night,and tomorrow morning,I'm leavin Kuching again..

How time really flies fast..It was in october/november when I first started my application procedures for my elective programme in Japan,which is gonna start next Monday until 12th February.With only 3 months ago I was busy with the preparation..and the time has finally come.It's still so surreal to me that I'm leavin tomorrow to the Land of the Rising Sun.

Will be in Singapore tomorrow morning,then Bangkok tomorrow night and finally Nagoya on Sunday morning.Long long hours..It's gonna be tiring.... :(

And I promise that I'll update with whats happening in Japan here or in Facebook whenever I can..With this,I bid u farewell...

Till the next time I blog,wish me safe journey!! =)


xoxoxoxoxo

p/s: I'm so blessed and grateful to My Father up in heaven for all these blessings...

1Malaysia over Allah???

I guess everyone knows about the big hoo-haa that's been going around in the news,not to forget tons of people updating their status regarding this matter.

one word.

ALLAH.

Allah,which simply means God in Arabic.

This one word caused such a commotion in Malaysia,which I am now embarrassed to call my Home at this very moment. Youngsters setting up molotov cocktails in churches after the court overturned the ban of using this word in the "Herald" or if any,other christian newsletter,articles and what not. Just because of ONE word,this has caused much anger and rebellion in those insecure in what they believe in,leading them to stupidity.

57 years of independance and with our current Prime Minister trying to instill the 1Malaysia "trend" yet there are people this shallow who thinks that they are making a stand and leaving a mark in Malaysia about their rights of using "Allah". Is this is what Malaysia is slowly becoming? Only certain people can use this word?What next?Only certain people are able to have their say in Malaysia while others just sit in silence?This is NOT the Malaysia we hope to live in,well for me it isn't. Harmony and Peace in our country is slowly thinning if this sort of attitude continues.

More on Al-Jazeera: http://english.aljazeera.net/news/asia-pacific/2010/01/2010181572087252.html

Undeniably,sadness and dare I say,anger too are felt in the hearts of those affected by this matter. If your friend or relative or anyone you know attends any one of the churches burnt,lift them up and be with them.As for me,I do not know anyone from these churches.All I can do is to pray for them and write this blog. Remember,the Lord Jesus Christ is a FORGIVING God. Do not let anger creep into our hearts and have hatred towards these people. The very first time I found out about the attacks,it reminded me what Jesus said when He was crucified on the cross:

"Forgive them Father for they know not what they have done."

Our Father reigns above all,thus,we as His children have no reason to be afraid and be worried of those who opposes Him. When we are not able to do things with our own strength,He does it for us.There is no point being angry with such people. So for those reading this,I urge you to pray for our brothers and sisters affected by this attack,and for the Lord's light to shine in our beloved beautiful country.

Happy New Year!

A year has finally passed...And another year has come..Goodbye 2009.....and HELLO 2010!!!

What's your resolution for this year??

"I set new year resolutions every year but I've never achieve them all"
"I never set new year resolutions....so that I won't be disappointed with myself when I don't achieve them"
"I only achieve some of my resolutions"
"I try my best to achieve all my resolutions..so far it's been fine,I guess"

The many familliar answers to the very often asked question =)

What's your highlight of 2009??What's your hope for this year?

For me,2009 has passed way way way too soon!Days after days,months after months...Time just went by in front of me,in a blink that I dont even feel it!I thank God for last year,for the many things,good and bad..And like all of you,I'm definitely hoping that this year will be a much,much,MUCH BETTER year!A happier,healthier and more successful year!

Have an amazing,awesome year!!!!Blessed 2010!!!!!!!!

Christmas Fireworks!

This is related to my previous post.I was finally able to upload the fireworks video launched at The Spring,during Christmas countdown!!Took a vid of it for your viewing pleasure =) Those who were not able to celebrate Christmas at home wif your family,here's a gift for u =PEnjoy!!

p/s:Don't mind the background noises*wink*

Have a Merry,Merry Christmas!!

It's FINALLY Christmas!!!And I'm back home in Kuching!!woohoo!!After 3 yrs of not being able to be home for christmas,I finally got the chance to this year!! Just got back from church for the annual Christmas Eve Service and as usual,it was packed,like sardines in cans! (= After that,drove around,not knowing where I actually wanted to go..and I was near The Spring,and they had fireworks!So I stopped at a carpark nearby the mall and sat in the car,watching them for about 7mins!Though I think it lasted for about 15.It was pleasant watching it.Took a vid of it! =)) Unfortunately,I'm havin trouble uploadin it here.bugger~

Anyway,wherever you are..............

HAVE A BLESSED CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

Be glad for this day,a reminder that Jesus came into this world for US!Rejoice and Be Glad in Him!

Back and Sick

I'm Back in Kuching!My hometown!The place where I'll be taken care by my mummy...heheh Homecooked food by my mummy..Was so excited to be bck!

But just whn I thought I'm gonna start my first day in Kuching will a smile and excitement....I got SICK.Just whn I jus landed Kuching International Airport(KIA),had the cough...And thought it was nothin..Next was,flu followed by fever..So now I've got the whole package...

And no,it isnt the "Swine Flu" aka. H1N1 virus.....And I'm not the carrier*Sticks tongue out*

Just wanted to update my blog now..Took my meds after lunch,drank lotsa hot Roibose Tea,had ginseng tea frm Eu Yan Sang....And wearing long pants and shirt,covered with my sweater...on a HOT day without the aircon or fan on.Imagine being in a sauna,sweating all the time.. :S

Will update more later,when I feel much better.Still haf lotsa pending entries..Toodles~

I'm saying "Hello!"

Hey guys...it has been awhile since I last posted up anything recent...

I was really busy preparing for my Behavioural Exam,which I am GLAD! to announce is officially over last Saturday....!!

Still kinda tired since I didnt reli get any good rest even after the exam till now.Soooooo gotta catch up and compensate for my sleep-deprived nites!

So I'll post sum of new entries later on,aite?Just wanted to say hi to everyone out thr... =P HELLOOOO!!!

adios!!*hugs*hugs*

I need sleep.I need a massage.Most of all,I need my face not to look so goddamn tired! =S

UGH.

A Neuro-Testimony

Remember my neurology exam I posted up few posts before this??So yea,the result came out today!!

AND I PASSED OVERALL!!!All thanks to MY PAPA J!!MY ROCK!!!Not because of me.Not my books.Well,fine..abit of me,abit of them books and abit to my frens.*hiaks!*BUT.........

THANKS!!TO MY LORD,MY FATHER IN HEAVEN,MY GUIDE,MY LORD JESUS CHRIST!!!

I've mention before that I reli,reli,reli didnt do well for my basic neurology exam rite..and I was reli worried that I wouldnt pass my neurology exam and had to come bck to Bali in the midst of my sem break.Think of how much my parents gotta spent on the extra return flight tickets and on immigration documents,especially whn I'm taking two flights to go back to Kch.Did I mention that every student studyin in Indonesia has to spent extra money?A minimum of Rp350,000 to get out of Indonesia for some re-entry permit + airport tax?I didnt???well,now you knw. =.='''

So anyhu....Results came out today and I PASSED!I prayed to God the whole time asking for a miracle that I'll get more than 80%,preferably 82%,for my clinical neurology exam to enable me to pass overall. A miracle because...well,ashamed to say this,but,I rarely get more than 80% in my theory exams..not never.just rarely.RARE. =S

But God answered my prayer!wootwoot!!I've prayed for 82%.And He gave me 82% for my clinical neuro!!Not more,not less.EXACTLY what I prayed for. Some of you would be thinking rite now "SO what??You didnt get more than that!And clinical neuro was freakin EASY!!!LOTSA ppl passed and got better overall results than u!!You sure its because of ur prayer??"
So what??I prayed for that,I GOT THAT!And I'm not comparing myself with others!I only wanted to pass overall!since I did reli reli bad in my basic neuro,I just wanted to pass!Got a 72% overall.And besides,thru that period,I've learnt something*wink*

The whole period from before the clinical exam till today,I've learn to TOTALLY trust God.Not 30%,50% or even 80% trust.I've learnt to trust in the Almighty God 100%!!Wasn't easy for me to do that since I always had doubts in my exams and relied in my own strength,my own capacity.We,as humans,ALWAYS tend to do and see things in our own perspective,no?A person who always rely on herself and in her opinion..sure is difficult to fully trust and rely on God sumtimes.

But it's through that time I finally understand and experience the true meaning of TOTAL 100% TRUST in GOD. To trust without doubt, without internal conflict,without negative thoughts constantly running thru ur mind.But instead have peace and leave it in His hands that God will bless me with what I prayed for.

I just wanna encourage u guys.If there's anyone of u feeling that at this moment,achieveing that goal or dream u've always wanted seems so so far-fetched,don't be afraid or worried.It's hard but do not let the negativity control your mind and emotions.I knw it's so easy to think negatively bout everything.But looking on the bright side of things and havin hope is what helps u thru the stress.But most importantly,"FIX YOUR EYES ON HIM" and continuously pray with total trust. Our God is a BIG GOD and he NEVER fails his children. Sumtimes what we asked for don't happen according to our way,but that doesnt mean good things ain't gonna happen.THings happen for a reason and things happen according to GOd's timing.Be patient. =)
Our Lord's thinking is way way larger than how we think because He sees the BIG picture of things in our life.We don't.We,humans,onli focused on the problem and the stained black dots in our life.

So there,do not be afraid to have BIG dreams and BIG goals. Come to Him and He'll always guide you thru to achieve them!

~xoxo~

Gambier Street Demolition??

I was checking my fb account yesterday,and received a msg frm someone concerning The Gambier Street Esplanade.Even reading the title annoyed me. I was(wait.I still am)so friggin disappointed to find out that Kuching goverment is gonna demolish Gambier Street Market.wth..!!??


Demolish the market and make it into an explanade? I do admit having that market there does cause traffic problems,but I reli disagree in demolishing it.It is after all one of the oldest buildings there!It shud b preserved as one of Kuching's historical buildings. The government really shud have come up with other solutions if it's because of the traffic problem and the cleanliness.But not replace it wif an esplanade! Certain rules on the "loading and unloading" as well as the traffic could be enforced. One of the problem was Kuchingites parking their vehicles haphazardly whrever they want,even to the extend of having 2or3 lanes in the so-called narrow road,causing massive traffic jams. That's not the market's fault!It's the drivers' faults.Well,enforced some laws on that then!Not demolish the market! And if it's bout cleanliness,hire cleaners for that area!Rather than spending RM7 million for the esplanade project,might as well use it to clean the area!Use competent traffic police to help the traffic flow so that drivers wont double,no I mean,triple-parked their vehicles!

www.walk-along.blogspot.com

I read this article a few minutes ago:

mysarawak.wordpress.com-"KUCHING: The transformation of the former wet market at Gambier Street into an esplanade, an extension of the existing waterfront, will begin this month.Kuching City North Commission Datuk Bandar Mohamad Atei Abang Medaan said the tender for the RM7 million beautification project has already been given out.“Hopefully (it will be) completed by the end of the year. The beautification process is quite slow, but what we need to put up first are the facilities,” he told reporters here yesterday."

Yes.Beautification.So they're gonna "beautify "the place by extending Waterfront area and planting TREES.Like as if Waterfront isn't long enough for people stroll along.wait,more like teens to date around.And ooooo...Beautify them wif trees.How pretty. (=.=)''' Fine maybe it's a good way for tourists to enjoy strolling along Waterfront.But come on!Is the experience of walking along the new extended waterfront pathwayany different frm the walks in the paths before that??There are many others besides me who are really unsatisfied with this motion of demolishing Gambier St. Market. Actions to so-call "pujuk" our beloved government were done before the decision were officially finalised.Yet the gov didn't even bother.Petitions were going around through the net, Photography competitions of the area were done organized by many parties including the Architectural society, and so forth. These were done so that Gambier St. Market would be one of the historical landmarks in Kuching.Well,for starters,it's been thr for a very very very VERY long time. Places like this should be PRESERVED!Not demolished and b replaced by trees!!I'm not denying that modernisation is great and I'm all up for it,but tearing down one of the oldest areas in Kuching and replacing it with trees is officially an insult!Definitely could be one of Kuching tourists spots to walked ard. Westerners haf never seen wild veges and othr produce frm Sarawak rite?Those could be used as promotions,just need to make them more interesting and "out-there"Anyway...the people has spoken!!!But sadly,NOT HEARD!!!

www.walk-along.blogspot.com

So the hawker stalls and those who works at the market are now relocated to Stutong Market.Plain "newer" boring market.Not in town,not in areas where there's tourist walking about.Nothing.

Hmm......I'm so disappointed bout this.I never thought I'd be so hyped up bout things in Kuching.Let alone about a market I rarely go to.Heck,I suck big time at History lessons in school yet I think it should be a historical landmark.

Y'all think its one of those projects so that "certain parties" could gain extra income and use it for personal reasons??I do.Very much think so.Very.

It's sad to see historical "antique" buildings you've seen your whole life but never really appreciate it ,destroyed.It's gonna be gone...forever.

As of June 15,demolition project has started.

Imagine,bricks and pillars,roofs and floors,"saw" years and years of lives/lifestyles/incidences/wars...heck,maybe even James Brooke passing by the building itself. And if they could speak,they would tell us wonderful stories of how people lived before.And if they could speak,right now....they''re shouting "NO!DONT DESTROY US!",while crying.

"This is destroying "living" proof of history.Murdering evidences of parcels of Kuching's historical area."

Elly's Day!!

DEDICATED TO ELLY CHANGI!!!!!!

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY,DEAR ELLY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have an awesome birthday,Elly Changi,the girl who always makes me smile and laugh alot!everytime actually!

She NEVER fail to put a smile on my face...Everytime I meet her,she makes me forget my problems and instead make me laugh non-stop...

When I'm with her,she makes me feel like most,if not everything,around me is funny...dont knw why...hahhaha

Right now,I'm thinkin of moments of whether we ever had any serious moments or moments that we would cry together or moments where we would share our problems...We did haf moments like dat...but very very few..Dono why...hmm...Why huh elly??I think it's because everytime we're meeting each other,with meryll(elissa) or gracejoy or ruth or raenai.....we'll ALWAYS say smth goofy or smth wrong that end up being funny..and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh....

I personally think that even though we would wanna haf a sharing-and-caring session,we always end up saying things that's funny and onli end up laughin.heck,even if it wasnt funny,we would think it's funny..I think strangers would think we're some nutsos...hahha

anyway,ELLY CHANGI,I LOVE U!!!!!GOD BLESS U IN EVERYTHING U DO!!!!

p/s:elly,whn i'm bck,we haf more sharing-caring session ok?dont oways laff laff laff too much.till my cheeks hurt..hahha

Clinical neuro is over!

CLiniCaL NeuroloGy exam is finally over!!!another exam donE!

after busting my @$ off for this exam...sure am hoping for good result... ;) *praying,crossed fingers*

It has been a rather hectic week right after our 1st exam of this sem,musculoskeletal exam...2 wks later,we had our basic neurology exam...friggin onli 2WEEKS to study the whole basic:anatomy,physiology,histology,pharmacology,clinical pathology!!!!!!and 3 wks later,which is today,we had our clinical exam this morning.......finally it's done!phew!

unfortunately,I didn't do well at all for my basic neurology..*embarrased* =( *sob*sob*

Thank GOd though,both the basic and clinical neurology exam results are gonna b added together..35% basic and 65% clinical...so hopefully I'll score reli well to compensate fr my basic exam and pass overall!!

I think I'm being tested durin this period of time...to fully and totally trust GOd and leave it all to HIM..and I reli think that's what I'm doing..hehe so yea,we'll wait and see..

Our Lord God is a FAITHFUL God. He will provide all things that we NEED. When you have done your part,He will do His. Worry not about things u cannot control and leave it all to God!God Bless~